fuck you, I'm a bus! (sevenfists) wrote in dear_dean,
fuck you, I'm a bus!
sevenfists
dear_dean

The triumphant return!

Jaida's Dean's words of wisdom: If it ain't possessed, don't exorcise it.


Dear Dean,

Where's my car?

Baffled in Oregon




Dear Baffled,

Seeing as how you're in Oregon, it's probably that large, mossy lump in your driveway -- you know, that thing with a tree growing out of it. Chisel away a few layers of lichen and you'll probably see some solid Detroit steel under there. If you're lucky, it won't be totally rusted through.

If that's not the case, it could be that some dude got a little confused after a few beers and some Mary J, and went home in the wrong car. Uh, not that that's ever happened to me or anything. But I know a guy who did that. He ended up taking a Ford. That's the sort of thing that'll scar a dude for life.

LOVE Dean





Dear Dean,

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

Sincerely,

Close to you




Dear Close,

It's 'cause birds are attracted to Sam's hair. They see it and think that Jesus himself has returned from the afterlife and created an amazing, heavenly nest for them. There was this one time in El Paso -- well, I won't go into details, but we ended up cutting three inches out of Sam's hair cause the bird shit had congealed and it wouldn't wash out.

Sam would like to add that I'm a big fucking liar and his hair is neatly trimmed and very clean, thank you very much. Unfortunately for Sammy, I know for a fact that it's been five days since he last showered, and there's been a metric ton of poltergeist goo since then. Dude fuckin' reeks. I'm afraid to let him out into nature because it'll be like The Birds except in real life.

LOVE Dean
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  • 38 comments
...*dead*

I can never listen to the Carpenters again, and I consider that a good thing. XD \o/!!
aww Dean! Don't hate on Ford! I mean, you have a CHEVY for chrissake!

*ducks under a table*
Dude, Fords are totally below Chevys on the totem pole.
dear dean how i have fucking missed you!
HI YOU!

And also, hi Dean! Nice to have you back!

adibiase

9 years ago

Dear Dean is BACK!
Your icon makes me want a SPN/Calvin & Hobbes crossover.
The Morning Comes. Gen, PG-13, written by thedaytheystop

sevenfists

9 years ago

jainadurron

9 years ago

lmao Sam's hair!

Haha I was so excited when I saw this on my friends page! :D
I miss the frequent updates so much.

Jaida Susan Dean, I love you.
HAY DEAN!!

*uses appropriate icon*
HAHAHAHAHA! Dean approves of that icon so hard.

ajk

9 years ago

OMG HI!!! *waves*
*dies*
But I know a guy who did that. He ended up taking a Ford.
OI! Dude, at least it wasn't a Yugo!

Ya sure it's poltergeist goo? *snickers* And really, Sammy has pretty hair... really, he does.

I know for a fact that it's been five days since he last showered
Five days? *winces* That's taking smelling like a MAN just a little too far. *nods* yeah... Right into the territory of not making friends when you wave. Uh huh.
Sam smells like a flower, what are you talking about.
:-D!
Dean I <3 your letters XD

I made a happy noise when I saw this on my FL, hooray!
DEEEEAN! I have missed you! Sam's hair grow back yet?
Oh Dean. I have missed your sage advice.
Dear Dean. I love you. But you gotta be nice to Sam and his hair!. I have MISSED you.
look who is MARY-SUEING DEAN.
......SHUT UP.

mcee

9 years ago

sevenfists

9 years ago

mcee

9 years ago

sevenfists

9 years ago

mcee

9 years ago

sevenfists

9 years ago

mcee

9 years ago

sevenfists

9 years ago

mcee

9 years ago

It's 'cause birds are attracted to Sam's hair. They see it and think that Jesus himself has returned from the afterlife and created an amazing, heavenly nest for them.

I knew it. :D
Uh, not that that's ever happened to me or anything.
Uh huh, sure... ;)

Go tell Sam to take a shower. Tell him we'll help if he wants company.
ahahaha Sam's hair, you're genius! We need to see more sam love though lol...Fords a for losers who can't get impalas!