fuck you, I'm a bus! (sevenfists) wrote in dear_dean,
fuck you, I'm a bus!
sevenfists
dear_dean


Dear Dean,

I'm having trouble getting my daughter to sleep at night. She's afraid that there are monsters under her bed! What should I say to her to get her to go to bed? Is there anything I can do?

Thanks Dean!




Dear Worried Mom,

Not to alarm you, but there could be monsters under her bed. Have you checked? If there's anything fishy, call me, I'll try to swing by. Things hiding under kids' beds go right to the top of the Critters To Kill list.

There probably isn't anything under there, though. Aren't many things that like hiding under beds - too cramped and dusty, and plus it's hard to manuever. I'd say the closet's more likely, but if she isn't worried about that, it's time for a little harmless deception. Take Sammy - he was terrified of the dark when he was a kid. Our dad, of course, gave him a gun, but I wouldn't recommend that for your average suburban household. I told Sammy that if he brushed his teeth two times before he went to bed, his breath would smell too nice and all the monsters would be scared away.

If that's no good, you could always put a pair of your shoes on the floor at the foot of her bed and tell her it's a special monster-deterring technique. Or give her a flashlight to keep under her pillow - monsters are all terrified of light. She'll probably grow out of it pretty soon. Hell, even Sammy got over it by the time he was fourteen.

LOVE Dean
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FOURTEEN??

Oh, Sammy.

*snickers*
Our dad, of course, gave him a gun,

Of course... ;)

LOOOOOVES!

These are infinitely amusing. Thank you for them.
Ahahaha, I'm just glad people think they're entertaining. 0_o
Oh Dean... unable to hide his softy, "I'm the big brother" side. *sigh*

So... is Sam gonna retaliate???
"Things hiding under kids' beds go right to the top of the Critters To Kill list."

Right after the fabric softener teddy bear, right?

And Fourteen? No wonder Sam is so screwed up. J/K
Hell, even Sammy got over it by the time he was fourteen. *snicker* Dean Winchester would make the best dad.
That's why I'm going to have his babies.

Also, much love for your icon. :D

modernmuse

10 years ago

Our dad, of course, gave him a gun, but I wouldn't recommend that for your average suburban household.

hahahahaa. I was never afraid of monsters under my bed. I was afraid of ninjas, b/c ninjas are sneaky.
I was afraid of saber-toothed tigers. I kid you not.

paperkingdoms

10 years ago

irvys_sefie

10 years ago

paperkingdoms

10 years ago

irvys_sefie

10 years ago

paperkingdoms

10 years ago

spelly

10 years ago

irvys_sefie

10 years ago

carters_girl

10 years ago

I gotta say, my childhood bogeymen were real people... but I can understand the ninjas. Seriously.

anna_chronism

10 years ago

spelly

10 years ago

hearts_black

10 years ago

mirukail

7 years ago

lilithrain

6 years ago

Hell, even Sammy got over it by the time he was fourteen.
*howls* Yeah, by then he was probably taller than all of them anyway.

All really good ideas too. I especially like the teeth brushing one.
if he brushed his teeth two times before he went to bed, his breath would smell too nice and all the monsters would be scared away.

*squees*

SO adorable!
My life was much emptier of late, without Dean's good advices. ♥.
Dean's been busy dealing with all the ladies who want to have sex with him.

monkiedude

10 years ago

and just HOW does Dean know all of these special techniques for soothing little children?
Aw. I can just imagine him kneeling down and telling a little girl that this is a can of special monster go away spray (lysol) and if you spray it, it'll kill them. Oh, and if that doesn't work, here's a gun, kid. By the way, how old's your mom...?
*rolls around* THE MENTAL IMAGES. THEY ARE KILLING ME. In a good way.
Aww, Dean!

I told Sammy that if he brushed his teeth two times before he went to bed, his breath would smell too nice and all the monsters would be scared away.

*luvs*

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OOOOhhh, yes!! The Update-and knowlege has been bestowed-I am again mesmorised by Dean's wise mind-and can spell once more!(hahaha)-RED
Finally! Another Ask Dean Q has been answered. I was starting to loose hope you, err, I mean Dean wouldnt be continuing them anymore. I was about to protest. Well thank Dean for me for his infinite wisdom. Or better yet, just send him my way & I can *thank* him in person.(I personally always went w/the flashlight for protection. Or I'd just completley hide under the covers till I fell asleep.)

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I told Sammy that if he brushed his teeth two times before he went to bed, his breath would smell too nice and all the monsters would be scared away.

I am going to sue God for the fact that my big brother was not as awesome as Dean Winchester.
yay XD

So much love for Dear Dean. And for Dean in general. >_> He's such a good big brother...
*looks through the Yellow Pages*
where can I get a monster to hide under the bed
*looks up with Innocent Eyes (tm)*
What? I just want Dean to swing by.